Happy Valentines Day!

Thursday 14 February, 2008

Being single I was going to write something witty about how valentines day, however Justin seems to have beaten me to it with his Anti Valentines Day post.

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Snowboarding in Austria

Saturday 9 February, 2008

We spent 3 days on the slopes of the semmering.

There was a terrible accident.

James is dead?

My death was faked so I could stay in Austria, my clone will return on Sunday to the uk, beware!

“Roock Lobster”

Wednesday 23 January, 2008

If you don’t watch Family Guy you are missing out.

I wouldn’t steal

Sunday 20 January, 2008

Whenever you rent a movie, the multinational media industry forces you to watch their propaganda. They claim that downloading movies is the same as snatching bags, stealing cars or shoplifting.

That’s simply not true – making a copy is fundamentally different from stealing.

The media industry has failed to offer viable legal alternatives and they will fail to convince consumers that sharing equals stealing. Unfortunately, they have succeeded in another area – lobbying to adapt laws to criminalize sharing, turning consumers into criminals. They argue that their laws are necessary to [support artists], but in reality all they’re protecting is their own profits.

The Greens in Europe and worldwide has been opposing these laws. We believe that consumers are willing to pay if offered good quality at a fair price. We also believe that sharing is expanding culture – not killing it.

To protest against the faulty propaganda from the industry, we made our own film. The difference is – you can choose whether you want to watch this one.

The Greens | European Free Alliance
in the European Parliament

A COLLABORATION BETWEEN GREENS-EFA AND RåFILM
greens-efa.eu | rafilm.se | Produced by CARL SCHLYTER

Source: http://iwouldntsteal.net/

Chris Rock: No Apologies Tour

Wednesday 16 January, 2008

Chris Rock, who is often reported funniest American stand-up in modern comedy, was performing a show in Birmingham on 12th January and I was there. I believe this is the first tour he’s done that’s come over to the UK. “Never Scared”, “Bigger and Blacker” and “Bring The Pain” are his other show, all of which have done really well, so I was really looking forward to this. 🙂

The warm-up act on the night was a guy called Mario Sarpong. Apparently he’s fairly well know over the sea, meh. He was pretty funny with his situational style of comedy and got the nearly full arena laughing and suitably “warmed up”. It was during the warm up that we realised that we were sitting directly in front of Mr Canned Laughter! I’m serious here, this guy was laughing at everything and not just a chuckle either, this fella was loud! Even the couple of jokes that were slightly lost in “translation” that didn’t really get a laugh, that’s right, full belly laugh from the stooge behind us.

ROCK!

Apparently Chris Rock started of the show by repeating a lot of the jokes he used of his publicity tour.. This didn’t really bother me as I’d not seen any of his publicity! 🙂 And this joke is recycled from his older material..

My only role in my daughter’s life…is to keep my baby of the pole! They don’t grade Dads… but if your daughter ends up a stripper, you fucked up! …again, bothered? Not really as I’ve not really heard his other stuff.

Here’s a few memorable bits: on the American Election race. On current election campaign runner, Barack Obama, He’ll be fine, but his biggest problem is having a black wife….you know she’ll make him say you ain’t president… we president!” and Hilary Clinton, “Well, we know she has one strength over Obama, and that’s forgiveness!“ hehe

On rich kids “I’ve always hated rich kids, so I guess I hate my kids, little rich bastards!
Hey dad, I want a bike!” Fuck you kid! How old are you? five? Shit, when I was young, I couldn’t afford to be five until i was nine!

On relationships “Half the women in here refuse to give blowjobs, the other half are in loving relationships. Remember ladies, Spitters are Quitters!

It was a good night. Chris Rock delivered as I expected him too and the support geezer wasn’t half bad either. 🙂

Happy New Year and 3 bad things.

Sunday 13 January, 2008

Happy New Year Y’all!!!!

I’ve been a bit lazy of late and haven’t updated in quite some time, hence me wishing happy new year when it’s halfway through January! Nevermind eh? I’ll try to keep a bit more up-to-date (I promise Fran!).

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So, straight on to the 3 bad things. Number one is loosing my passport. It’s probably not such a bad thing………. unless you only notice that it’s lost 2 days before you’re supposed to travel to Austria to see your Brother, Sis (in law) and nieces! GRRRR!! The whole trip was booked and paid for and as the passport is lost it wasn’t possible to claim any money back on the flights.. 😦 Obviously not visiting my family in Austria was the worst thing. Hope to see you guys soon! Oh by the way I never did find my passport and I’m currently in the process of acquiring a new one… Cost me nearly 80 squids!

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Number two on the list is Christmas. I travelled down to Cornwall on the Saturday before Xmas as I was staying with my parents over the Xmas period. On Sunday, less than a day after arriving I started to feel ill. I was coming down with the dreaded Man Flu!!!! That was it, end of Xmas for me pretty much. I got fully better just after New Years Eve, ie when all the fun was over!

Here’s a video showing the affects of a cold/flu on a man.

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Finally Number three. My first day back at work was on 2nd January. At lunchtime on that day I decided to drive to the shops and buy some lunch, sometimes I have packed lunch but not that day.. So, I’m driving out of the buniness park where I work and just before I get to the large roundabout my car breaks down! Great! I suspect that the clutch cable has come loose or something as the clutch pedal just went to the floor.. Ok, by this time there’s a pretty big queue behind me as lots of people seem to head over to the shops for lunch.. So I struggled to push my car off the road and up onto the grass verge. Thankfully one bloke jump out of his car and gave me a hand to push it, the other lazy b@5*@£ds just sat in their cars and watched. I had a quick look under the bonet at the clutch cable but it seemed to be connected OK still but the clutch arm was moving freely! 😦 I called the AA and they arrived about an hour later. The AA chap had a quick look and confirmed that the clutch had gone. ARSE! To cut the story a bit short, I got towed to a garage who replaced the clutch in return for nearly £300. Mechanic = good work if you can get it.

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Apart from those 3 things everything is Bisto. 🙂

 

 

SHUT UP, BE HAPPY

Saturday 24 November, 2007

We interrupt this program with a special bulletin:
America is now under marshall law.
All constitutional rights have been suspended.
Stay in your homes.
Do not attempt to contact love ones, insurance agent or attorney.
Shut up.
Do not attempt to think or depression may occur.
Stay in your homes.
Curfew is at 7 PM sharp after work.
Anyone caught outside of gates of their suveillance sectors after curfew
will be shot.
Remain calm, do not panic.
Your neighborhood watch officer will be by to collect urine examples in
the morning.
Anyone gaught intefering with the collection of urine examples will be
shot.
Stay in your homes, remain calm.
The number one enemy of progress is questions.
National security is more important than individual will.
All sports broadcasts will proceed as normal.
No more than two people may gather anywhere without permission.
Use only the drugs described by your boss or supervisor.
Shut up, be happy.
Obey all orders without question.
The comfort you demanded is now mandatory.
Be happy.
At last everything is done for you

I went to see Jello Biafra do his spoken word gig the other day. He started it off with the above which I recognised and after googling found out it’s by Ice T… Anyway after the first half hour Jello’s rantings and points of view became more unbelievable and to be honest, boring. Maybe he should shut up and be happy. Hah.